Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! (2015)
Writer: Thunder Levin
Cast: Ian Ziering (Fin Shepard), Tara Reid (April Shepard), Cassie Scerbo (Nova Clarke), Frankie Muniz (Lucas Stevens), Ryan Newman (Claudia Shepard), David Hasselhoff (Gilbert Grayson Shepard), Mark Cuban (President Marcus Robbins), Bo Derek (May Wexler), Blair Fowler (Jess), Michael Winslow (Brian 'Jonesy' Jones), Jack Griffo (Billy), Michelle Beadle (Agent Argyle), Ne-Yo (Agent Devoreaux), Chris Jericho (Bruce the ride operator), Mark McGrath (Martin Brody), and Ann Coulter (Vice President Sondra Beck).
Warning read at your risk, sharks are present, and will eat you on sight.
Normally i would begin with an intro, giving you an idea of what the film is about, and what to expect. Today i will begin my review with a rant and my reasoning behind my choice of yet, another Sharknado film review. The reasoning behind this particular film, is simple, it's popular, for some reason people like it, or there wouldn't be three movies on the subject. The film has a cult following just like My Big Ass! Giant Spider, in a "B" movie kinda way it delivers. These films do well, and even though the film is hard on the eyes to soak in, it still does well in the box office, and TV spots, for the case of Sharknado. The film has it's ups and downs, but still delivers no matter how bad the film is in the acting department, and special effects, these films lack of story and degrees of unbelievable feats are the keys to it's success. In Big Ass Giant Spider, the spider was the key, it was the draw to the film. Sharknado's sharks falling, flipping, and still managed to kill the stupid actor that decides to scream instead of fleeing, well that's the draw, and it worked because here I'm reviewing another ridicules shark film.
Fin Shepard (Ian Ziering) if you remember the first film, he was a divorced Bar owner. His location was popular and convenient; the bar was on the pier which is a prime spot for Sharks, fancy that right? His everyday customer, and an annoying moron, was a drunk by the name of George (John Heard). Shepard's main employee, a waitress, Nova Clarke (Cassie Scerbo). She was the second leading character in the story, although Tara Reid is really the second because of her name, not the acting. This group focused on helping people in the Los Angeles area, Shepard's people main motive was to get out of the city, with his family, which by the way, the scene in the first film, where Fin and company saved April (Tara Reid) from the sharks that somehow got in her mansion, even though, thanks to the editing the area where she lived was sunny and beautiful. So water flooded the house that came from the drains, the sharks got in and killed her new husband. Somehow on a bright sunny day, a huge flood managed to wipe out a poorly written actor that played April's husband, and the really hard thing to take in was the water level and the one, or maybe two sharks that managed to kill.
April Wexler (Tara Reid) divorced, as the three films went on, they eventually got back together. Matt (Chuck Hittinger) went over-seas via military, while Claudia (Ryan Shepard), a different actress, fancy that, like this stuff never happens in films. Anyway, Claudia is in Orlando, Universal studios, for a birthday celebration. Her husband is in Washington trying to get home, in a Sharknado, her emotion, and facial features are robotic, she really doesn't care. Fin is trying to tell her about his ordeal, instead she acts like he's got it, no big deal, never mind that in the other movies her hand was taken by a shark, and yet her expressions are always the same. That being said, out of all the characters April really has no bases for even being penned, she is lifeless, no emotion, her acting is as bad as a drunk person trying to get a number from a hot chick. The way they introduced April was horrible, she should've died in the first film, even though she has a rotating saw-like blade as a hand really makes no difference, her character is as bad as they come.
Nova Clarke (Cassie Scerbo) a waitress gone resident evil, but a shark-hunter instead of zombies. This character is the most interesting, a charming school girl attitude turned into a cool biker chick, attitude. Nova is one of the best, and well rounded character besides Finn. The writers actually cared enough to make her a part of this big event, which is Sharknado 3. She knows how to fly a plane, at least until they crash right where they need to be in Orlando, in fact the plane dives right into the park. She even has a partner, Lucas Stevens (Franki Muniz) a tech who upgraded an RV he calls Beast. The team reminds me of a bad zombie film, but in reverse, the zombies are horrible at killing, while the actors are complete bad assess, they're heroes no matter what comes up against them. By the way, the scene when Nova makes her presence known is pretty cool, when the smoke clears, fog, whatever she comes out to welcome Fin.
Rant: The film is a disaster from the start, first it begins in Washington, then the Sharknado's tarvel east-bound, the devastation is almost apocalyptic. From annoying one liners, to senseless action, even with better special effects the film still sucked. So here we have our Hero running throughout the city to get to his destination in Washington, The President wants to commemorate Fin for saving two cities, LA and New York. You would think he would get a medal, nope, instead he gets a chainsaw, really! Guess the filmmakers thought it would be cool, like Arnold's "I'll be back," one liner.
The first film the sharks fell randomly out of the sky killing people, you would think folks would've learned this time around. The Shepard's have a book called how to survive a Sharknado, which was in the second film, guess the writer forgot about that one. So if the book tells you how to survive, then in three folks should've had some knowledge, maybe a bit of preparation, at least they would've had some fighting chance. When your running a sequel, those little things like a book on how to survive a Sharknado is important to the plot, because it would show a connection, a learning curve. Why? not have the folks fight back like Finn did in the other films, instead they died, and did nothing to survive the ordeal. The lesser characters were shark bait.
From Washington to Orlando, to space believe it or not, yes space, David Hasselhoff is in the film, he plays Gilbert Grayson Shepard, Fin's father who just happens to be an ex-NASA pilot. The main plot for the Sharknado 3 is all the storms have merged into a super-cell, which causes huge amounts of damage, so they need a space shuttle with the fuel tanks in the right place to exploded, which has enough heat to dissipate the storm, but not the falling sharks, which kills a lot of people, and even has a viewer choice to kill of April or keep her alive, you know my answer to that question. Anyway, the very pregnant April has her while inside the belly of a Great White Shark, blah! blah! blah! The baby is born, remember the sharks are falling, and the film ends with a shark about to land right on top of her.
All in all this film series is complete a waste, the story goes from one extreme to another, let me explain. Remember the Evil Dead series, yes they were weird, but the characters had purpose, all of them, even the lesser characters. Sharknado 3 just like the earlier films doesn't do the job, it falls short, and for a comedy, action the laughter wasn't there, it presents itself like a strong film, but instead it just doesn't deliver like it should've, at least the scary movie franchise will make you laugh as silly as those were, they delivered, as in the Shaknado 3 this film is empty, i guess the acting killed it. Out of place characters, it's purpose was unnecessary action that would've never happened, but with that being said, this film still did well and they're working on number four, i guess a "B" movie is what it is, a film with no structure, no real direction. I would turn away from watching this film, my DVR burned after watching it, so caution, be careful because you never know what might be lurking in your house.
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