American Ultra (2015)

Pic by www.justjared.com

The week i took off was an important one at least to me it was. My In-laws came to visit for the weekend, meanwhile Melissa went on a cleaning frenzy. Yes, i meant what i said, because my wife goes a bit nuts over the house not being perfect. The downstairs, upstairs, any germ, dust, anything that would make a house ugly. She's the cleaning terminator, anyway, on my way home from work and to my surprise, a piece of paper was on the table, in the kitchen, where my wife had a list for me, it wasn't to long but it was a list. The bathrooms, both of them, curtains, our guest room, which by the way is home to my granddaughter Ellie, where she sleeps when she is over. The room was my oldest daughter Gabby but since she had a Tasmanian devil for a child, that room became hers, not that i had a choice that little bug of a child runs fast, you'd think she was running a marathon, the way she fly's from room to room. The 2 yr old, basically destroys any artifact if you had the Temple of Doom kinda artifact, doesn't matter, because she eyes it, and with in seconds it's either gone or broken. With that being said, the week was about my in-laws, family and the stuff you could get in hot water in if you ignore them when visiting. By the time Saturday came around, we went to dinner, which was really good thing, because we were all famished, after my daughters concert. Yes my 12 yr old plays the Clarinet, we were watching her, part in the audience. So dinner and a concert was really cool, especially when you have your own blood playing an instrument. So my week was busy, because after it was over, there is no way i could've had any time to review any movie.
Why? American Ultra, well it's simple, it looked good and since it's Jesse Eisenburg which i like as an actor, i was intrigued by the film's premise. The movie has a feel to it, well at least what i got out of the trailer. Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation was on my sights, it was an action film, the cool spy stuff that makes a film exciting. So i went with American Ultra, and sometimes you can't really judge a movie, or anything before you see it. That wasn't the case for this film, because it changed everything, the dynamic was very different.

American Ultra starts off with Mike Howell (Jesse Eisenburg) in a holding cell, he is in bad shape, as they come, the long haired stoner dude had a really bad three days.  Anyway, he was shaking, looking at the glass in front of him.  Beyond the bullet resistance glass is a man looking at Mike, he stares at him, he goes by the name of  Krueger (Bill Pullman). The screen starts to flash, going from one sequence to another. A frying pan, bloody spoon, and a Teddy Bear that looked like it went through World War III. The film then goes into the life of Mike Howell (Eisenberg), and his girlfriend Phoebe (Kristen Stewart). They are extreme stoners, there life is a dream, they have dialog that reminds me of a bad 70s film; They talk about their future and things to come. I don't have a problem with scenes like these, but it doesn't have to be so long that your head starts to bop, the bop, meaning it bored me. I thought this was a comedy, anyway lets get back on track. The man problem is that Mike somehow can't commit, whenever he tries to leave, he goes into a freak mode. I guess the comedy thing was omitted when they made this film.  A trip was planned for Hawaii which went wrong, Mike vomited in the restroom repeatedly, meanwhile Phoebe waited patiently for Mike, but to her disappointment, he did not show. The main problem with the film is the comedy, drama, action thing which the film really had no direction. Was it a comedy, or a action film, what was it. Another problem was the disconnect between characters, it was as if they were trying to hard to play their parts. At least it would've worked for a true comedy, but that was not the case for this film. The core of the film, or the action starts when agent Victoria Lasseter (Connie Britton) comes around and whispers some long code word which activates the sleeper agent, and becomes a killing machine, up till that point the movie is boring as hell.

The Government project was headed by the CIA, all of the subjects were washouts, with one exception, Mike Howell. The 400 Million dollar man who was held up in a small town. The handler is, you got it, Phoebe, wow! what a reveal, i was gasping for air when the plot thickened. I mean the film decided to go funny on us when we meet Mike's Drug dealer, Rose (John Leguizamo) a bad Ass dude that is pretty much funny when you get a glimpse at this dude.  Anyway the desk Jockey and jerk of the film Adrian Yates (Topher Grace) becomes the head of the CIA program, basically he wants the awakened operative, Mike Howell dead, not alive but dead. The handler was to come in and end their relationship, in fact she must come in and go back to real life right, guess the writers forgot about the direction of the story, because at this point why would she just turn. The poor dude after killing 7 guys flawlessly decides to run with his handler girlfriend. The life of a stoner just became interesting, because the really slow beginning, made me want to vomit. Look i get they had to write the holes in the story, but isn't this supposed to be a comedy? That's the issue with the film, it wasn't funny. An awesome concept gone wrong, why? because the film producers decided to go the bad route, and the film paid the ultimate price.

The film was an action, comedy and it delivered on the action, but fell short on the comedy part of it. The beginning was strong as an action film, so why change the format, especially comedy. Let's take a look at the Melissa McCarthy film, SPY. The film has serious moments, but at least it didn't sway you. Unlike American Ultra that pretty much is all action and a bit of comedy, even with Adrian Yates (Grace) being a real dick! the film still has it's moments, and emotional parts, but when the comedic scene came around, only a few were good, it wasn't enough to hold the film as a comedy. The scene fell short at trying to be funny, it was because the tone from the start was serious, and what they should've done was mix the comedy with serious tone, make it flow. The film should've been a comedy throughout, but yet it wanted to, but i guess it was trying to hard to be what it truly wasn't. Imagined trying to get that hot girl, your throat hurts, stomach churns, it will never happen because your a scared little boy who thinks of himself a man. but the truth hurts, and the only feeling you'll get is a trip to the restroom. Maybe that was a bad analogy, but that's how i really feel about this movie.  The facts are in and the choice of Kristen Stewart as the female lead was horrible. Maybe it was the twilight saga because when your in a comedy, at least act like your in one, her comedy feel was way off, it was like if your going to the restroom, and a dude walks in next to you, he starts to talk to you, about the day, the real issue here is that you really just want to pee, but the dude keeps talking. I felt like that guy in the rest room, i really didn't want to be bothered.  Melissa McCarthy could pull off serious or comedy, while Stewart looks like a Cos-play chick with a really bad costume, and the funny thing is that i get the feeling Stewart felt like she's God's gift to the world, but the reality is that her acting sucks, it was boring, the love, connection between Phoebe and Mike was weak. Eisenberg was the one who controlled the scene. The only actors in this film i give my thumbs up to is Bill Pullman, Jesse Eisenberg, Connie Britton, John Leguizamo, Walton Goggins, and Topher Grace. They did great, and not because of the film, or screenplay, but because they're really good actors. I know i busted on Stewart, but the reality is that these actors who think they're big, bad, beautiful make me sick, her acting is like watching someone throwing up in a parking lot of a club. The main reason for this rant is because my review site is real, i will not hold back. A while back the critics busted on the BVS (Batman Vs Superman) film, and yet they give this film three stars, really? it sucked. The only thing was the concept that was good, in fact they should of made this film into a drama, action, maybe it would've been better. Mary Lynn Rajskub (Chloe O'Brian) from 24 is a better Phoebe, her acting is way better, and i would've picked her, but we got a sub-par actress, so when your trying to deliver an emotional scene, it fall flat.

American Ultra is just one of those films that try to be the next best comedy, the main problem here is it wasn't funny. The drug scenes even looked forced, pushed, a Hollywood pro marijuana agenda, really, because i want Hollywood to push there Anti-Americanism down my throat. You see it in TV shows now, forced drug scenes, to push pro-marijuana argument down the viewers gullet, and to me it sucks. At least in the Cheech and Chong films their intentions were pure, the guys had no agenda, they just wanted to have fun, and along the way they got in trouble. I really don't care much about drug scenes, but if they're part of the film, then at least try and make real, the emotion, craziness was omitted, but the coolness was their to glamorize. Just like Hollywood to put things in perspective. The Cheech and Chong movies pointed out how stupid it was to get high while driving a car, or doing things illegally, they didn't push it. Maybe i'm wrong, but it's my opinion. The film did really bad by the way, here are the numbers. budget - 28 million, opening weekend was about 5 million, and a gross of 14 million. The reason because the story sucked, the comedic parts were badly done, in fact the only really funny scenes were the Rose introduction, a drug dealer that has fireworks, and the Topher Grace scene where he goes off on one of the agents. I just wish the tempo was better, instead we got a high price budget film with "B," movie feel. You want a real comedy check out SPY a real comedy that has a story, action all elements of good film making, which American Ultra did not.